So I got denied from getting another job again. I wonder if it's worth trying to get employed by an employer like most people or if I should indeed carve out my own way to make money. It would be nice to know what reasons they rejected my application though.
I got pretty high marks for my 2 year college degree and most successful entrepreneurs seem to be reported as dropouts... Is the economy this bad or am I unemployable as an INTJ.
Darn social circus
I also have been keeping a dream journal but i am not sure if i should digitize it and/or post it on here. I had like 3-7 different dreams last night and wrote down most of what i could remember.
That's something else i like to do is dream. It happens less often than i like but it's nice when it does. I watched a movie on TV last night that i hadn't seen before and my dreams had some elements of what i watched and had some of what i wrote before bed in the blog.
When not too depressed watching movies can lift mood, although some elements can lower it also. Writing down stuff going through my mind seems to help too. Its like the silent friend that likes to listen that is very hard to find.
Just a quick post on my drinking habits.
One reason i do is that many people i know are not very honorable. I cannot understand it and after trying, i see it makes no difference either because they do not care or i do not matter. Humanity kind of drills at my psyche. Everyone seems to play a zero sum game instead of being considerate. I just don't know...
Another is tied to the first. Nothing seems to matter. I don't feel needed in any sense anymore and being wanted is a case by case basis. I don't know how strongly i feel about this as i have been avoidant of people because of trust issues. Not sure if i am high functioning autistic or high functioning schizo... Or just have bad trust issues because of the company I've had throughout my life.
Last i guess is boredom. Just because there is nothing to do because nobody wants to hire me. Depression seems to cycle up and down and i find myself either surrounded by assholes or people who like to marginalize me.
The economy sucks. Maybe college was a bad idea. Who knows. I hope things change soon, but with Obama's fiscal cliff coming up, i doubt it.
Ah man. Why aren't futuramas suicide booths not available yet. :-P
