Narcissim

I think we all have it. I don't deny that I have been both below and above the healthy levels at times. I think most of my depression has stemmed from being below the line and not seeing my own self worth at the level it is supposed to be.

But at the same time, I think it is a fine line that some of us can see and some cannot or don't care to. I would rather not cross too far over and see myself as worth more than most people. These kind of people really get to me. They manipulate and make jokes about others but when anything is said about them they stop laughing. Suddenly they are out for blood. I can't stand these people. I know that we are all flawed and need to be loved/forgiven equally, but for whatever reason I just have a hard time being in company with it.

Remembering back to my college years, my English teacher passed out a NYTimes article about how children today have a really bad entitlement attitude lately. I commented that it's not always the case and maybe some actually deserve *insert whatever here*. But the more I've thought about it over the years children are being raised to believe that they matter more than anyone. They have to watch out for number 1 (I think you do but to a point). And they go on to believe that they are really number 1 and everyone else is under them.

I wonder whatever happened to the times where people seemed to watch out for each other. Was that just a movie thing? When neighbors cared about neighbors and helped each other out. Did that actually happen in the past? or have we really become a bunch of entitled jerks with an unhealthy amount of narcissism. Is there a way to correct it?

I hope someday at least I can correct it when raising a child. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord sort of thing. And at least make the world a little more hopeful. But even those things wished for rarely comes to pass.

again only time will tell.

Yay

Perhaps is because I'm coming off a bad cold, but I've been feeling in rather high spirits lately. I'm sure that it will pass eventually but i hope things continue going up for at least a little while. I'd make this longer but it's late and posting from a tablet is a bit of a pain.

:-)

Ups and downs

I know we all have them and we all have to deal with them. Does identifying the root cause help? Even if it does it probably wouldn't help crying wolf at every thing that sets one off after its already triggered. After awhile though it feels like life is nothing but a ship at sea being tossed about by the waves with no way to steer itself in any direction on its own. It would call out for help if there where any other ships nearby but the storm would probably carry those calls away. At what point does the ship understand that the storm is out of its control and has to make the daily decision to maintain rather than struggle to control it an to stave away giving up altogether.

One for the road

More constructive posts

I feel that I should post more constructive blog posts and maybe less of the scatterbrained posts. Less of a diary of mythical dreaming and more thought out and meditated on conscious subjects to help bring out more thought. There will be the space for humor and such as it has its place but i feel that one becomes what one thinks and so i should become more focused in some area.

To the future.

And furthermore

In all legality, i want what all want. A soulmate,

The eye

The eye is a port to the soul. It readily devourers everything we set before it. It has no filter to divide that which builds us up or that which tears us down. We must actively decide what to dwell on and what to continue feeding it. As the old proverb says, the wolf that gets fed the most, is the one that wins.

Bucket list add

I think it would be apart of most peoples bucket list to get inebriated or high with a member of the opposite gender in the same room and discuss philosophical things at some length. Well at least i think it would be interesting.

E: to exchange thoughts unabated, in free form. such freedom can only be wished for.